Today's Steam of Consciousness - I apologize now :)

This is going to be a stream of consciousness post. I'm going to apologize ahead of time for any rambling or lack of cohesion that may ensue. I'm tired - it's been particularly draining as of late at work. I wouldn't be so glum if what I was doing at work was making a positive impact on society, helping the next generation to dream big. No, what I do adds a fraction of a cent to my company's stock price and that's probably being optimistic. What I deal with daily is trivial nonsense, fire drills and emergencies that would be easily mitigated with even the slightest amount of forethought. Even if effective leadership and organization were in place, what I do each day for work leaves me hollow. I've come and sat at this Starbucks on multiple occasions, trying to figure out what the hell I should do to fill that void. If I died today (God forbid), I would feel successful as a father and son, semi-successful as a husband and friend, and a failure as a businessman. "But you don't lie on your deathbed looking back fondly at grinding out work", you say. I know - that's why I pretty consistently disconnect completely from work when I'm not in the office. There's a difference, though, between wanting to spend more time padding someone else's pocket and working to change the world for the better. The world is so damn big and I have no clue where to begin or where I can make a difference. I've written about not being able to find my path multiple times and, if someone has read my various entries, it would be easy to say "just fucking do something already". Here's my reply: I need an enabler - something or someone that helps get me moving in the right direction. I am alone in this struggle right now. I have plenty of voices telling me how I am getting the shaft or some similar sentiment but no one can provide some alternatives or, in some cases, any level of reassurance and support. I want to be a better man - how the hell is that a problem?